Two and a Half Men poster
8.6/10 (2640 votes)
#1

Camel Filters and Pheromones

S1:E12

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

8.4/10 (1970 votes)
#2

An Old Flame with a New Wick

S1:E18

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

8.4/10 (1896 votes)
#3

Just Like Buffalo

S1:E23

When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

8.3/10 (1907 votes)
#4

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

S1:E7

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

8.1/10 (2603 votes)
#5

Pilot

S1:E1

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

8.1/10 (1740 votes)
#6

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

S1:E19

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

8.1/10 (1682 votes)
#7

Can You Feel My Finger?

S1:E24

Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

8.0/10 (1857 votes)
#8

Merry Thanksgiving

S1:E10

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

8.0/10 (1745 votes)
#9

No Sniffing, No Wowing

S1:E21

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

7.9/10 (1925 votes)
#10

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

S1:E4

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

7.9/10 (1657 votes)
#11

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

S1:E17

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

7.8/10 (1912 votes)
#12

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

S1:E5

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

7.8/10 (1786 votes)
#13

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

S1:E8

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

7.8/10 (1765 votes)
#14

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

S1:E15

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

7.8/10 (1721 votes)
#15

That Was Saliva, Alan

S1:E16

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

7.8/10 (1624 votes)
#16

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

S1:E22

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

7.7/10 (2143 votes)
#17

Big Flappy Bastards

S1:E2

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

7.7/10 (1993 votes)
#18

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

S1:E3

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

7.7/10 (1689 votes)
#19

I Can't Afford Hyenas

S1:E14

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

7.6/10 (1693 votes)
#20

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

S1:E11

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

7.6/10 (1677 votes)
#21

Sarah Like Puny Alan

S1:E13

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

7.5/10 (1807 votes)
#22

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

S1:E6

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

7.5/10 (1713 votes)
#23

Phase One, Complete

S1:E9

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

7.5/10 (1617 votes)
#24

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

S1:E20

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

7.5/10 (1807 votes)
#1

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

S1:E6

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

7.5/10 (1713 votes)
#2

Phase One, Complete

S1:E9

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

7.5/10 (1617 votes)
#3

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

S1:E20

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

7.6/10 (1693 votes)
#4

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

S1:E11

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

7.6/10 (1677 votes)
#5

Sarah Like Puny Alan

S1:E13

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

7.7/10 (2143 votes)
#6

Big Flappy Bastards

S1:E2

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

7.7/10 (1993 votes)
#7

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

S1:E3

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

7.7/10 (1689 votes)
#8

I Can't Afford Hyenas

S1:E14

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

7.8/10 (1912 votes)
#9

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

S1:E5

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

7.8/10 (1786 votes)
#10

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

S1:E8

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

7.8/10 (1765 votes)
#11

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

S1:E15

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

7.8/10 (1721 votes)
#12

That Was Saliva, Alan

S1:E16

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

7.8/10 (1624 votes)
#13

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

S1:E22

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

7.9/10 (1925 votes)
#14

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

S1:E4

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

7.9/10 (1657 votes)
#15

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

S1:E17

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

8.0/10 (1857 votes)
#16

Merry Thanksgiving

S1:E10

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

8.0/10 (1745 votes)
#17

No Sniffing, No Wowing

S1:E21

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

8.1/10 (2603 votes)
#18

Pilot

S1:E1

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

8.1/10 (1740 votes)
#19

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

S1:E19

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

8.1/10 (1682 votes)
#20

Can You Feel My Finger?

S1:E24

Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

8.3/10 (1907 votes)
#21

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

S1:E7

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

8.4/10 (1970 votes)
#22

An Old Flame with a New Wick

S1:E18

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

8.4/10 (1896 votes)
#23

Just Like Buffalo

S1:E23

When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

8.6/10 (2640 votes)
#24

Camel Filters and Pheromones

S1:E12

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

8.1/10 (2603 votes)

Pilot

S1:E1

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

7.7/10 (2143 votes)

Big Flappy Bastards

S1:E2

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

7.7/10 (1993 votes)

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

S1:E3

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

7.9/10 (1925 votes)

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

S1:E4

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

7.8/10 (1912 votes)

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

S1:E5

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

7.5/10 (1807 votes)

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

S1:E6

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

8.3/10 (1907 votes)

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

S1:E7

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

7.8/10 (1786 votes)

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

S1:E8

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

7.5/10 (1713 votes)

Phase One, Complete

S1:E9

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

8.0/10 (1857 votes)

Merry Thanksgiving

S1:E10

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

7.6/10 (1693 votes)

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

S1:E11

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

8.6/10 (2640 votes)

Camel Filters and Pheromones

S1:E12

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

7.6/10 (1677 votes)

Sarah Like Puny Alan

S1:E13

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

7.7/10 (1689 votes)

I Can't Afford Hyenas

S1:E14

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

7.8/10 (1765 votes)

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

S1:E15

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

7.8/10 (1721 votes)

That Was Saliva, Alan

S1:E16

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

7.9/10 (1657 votes)

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

S1:E17

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

8.4/10 (1970 votes)

An Old Flame with a New Wick

S1:E18

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

8.1/10 (1740 votes)

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

S1:E19

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

7.5/10 (1617 votes)

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

S1:E20

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

8.0/10 (1745 votes)

No Sniffing, No Wowing

S1:E21

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

7.8/10 (1624 votes)

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

S1:E22

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

8.4/10 (1896 votes)

Just Like Buffalo

S1:E23

When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

8.1/10 (1682 votes)

Can You Feel My Finger?

S1:E24

Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

Season Average Rating Episodes Best Episode Worst Episode
3 ★ 7.9 24
★ 8.4 Hi, Mr. Horned One
★ 7.5 Something Salted and Twisted
1 ★ 7.9 24
★ 8.6 Camel Filters and Pheromones
★ 7.5 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
5 ★ 7.9 19
★ 8.6 Fish in a Drawer
★ 7.6 Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
2 ★ 7.9 24
★ 8.7 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
★ 7.3 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
6 ★ 7.9 24
★ 8.7 The Two Finger Rule
★ 7.5 A Jock Strap in Hell
4 ★ 7.8 24
★ 8.6 Walnuts and Demerol
★ 7.5 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
7 ★ 7.8 22
★ 8.5 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
★ 7.4 I Found Your Moustache
8 ★ 7.7 16
★ 8.4 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
★ 7.2 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
10 ★ 6.4 23
★ 7.0 I Scream When I Pee
★ 5.6 Grab a Feather and Get in Line
11 ★ 6.4 22
★ 7.2 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
★ 6.0 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
9 ★ 6.0 24
★ 6.6 Thank You for the Intercourse
★ 5.3 People Who Love Peepholes
12 ★ 5.6 14
★ 5.9 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
★ 5.2 The Ol' Mexican Spinach