While the boys are waiting for the school bus, Cartman explains the odd nightmare he had the previous night involving alien visitors abducting him from his bed. Meanwhile Kyle and Stan try to convince Cartman that the dream was in fact a reality.

The boys get together with Stan's Uncle Jimbo and Jimbo's war-buddy Ned for a hunting trip in the nearby mountains. After Cartman's mom makes sure her "little" boy is safe and sound (much to Cartman's dismay) the group heads off for adventure. As they drive away from the town, Jimbo explains the "finer" points of hunting.

Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remember what he wrote about.

Stan's got a new dog named Sparky. Stan proclaims his pet to be the toughest dog on the mountain. Though while Stan thinks his dog is ready for fighting, Sparky proceeds to hump Sylvester like a little bitch. The other boys taunt Stan about his gay dog and Sparky runs away to find someone who will love him for who he is.

Stan notices a new addition in their bus stop crew, an elephant standing alongside Kyle. At school, class lessons for the day involve genetic engineering (conveniently enough). Kyle questions the possibility of a genetically engineered elephant made smaller by design. The boys have to beat the rough kids in their genetics experiment, and will try anything to do it.

"Happy Birthday" to Stan's Grandpa Marsh who just turned 102. How does the wizened Mr. Marsh feel about his birthday? He sums it up in five words; "I wish I were dead" and proceeds trying to end his life enlisting Stan to do it for him. However, Stan is aware of a very important thing if he kills his grandfather, he'd be in trouble, and if he's in trouble he can't watch Terrance and Phillip.

The first Halloween episode starts off with the failure of the Mir Space Station, which crashes right on Kenny. An ambulance comes and takes his body off to the morgue. The boys start to brag about their Halloween costumes. At the morgue, a freak accident involving a bottle of Worcestershire sauce occurs, and next thing you know Kenny is a member of the undead. Kenny breaks free and wanders off into the night.

The four boys are at Cartman's house watching the "Terrance & Philip Thanksgiving Special" on television. During a break from the show, a Sally Struthers commercial convinces the boys that the prospect of a free "Taiko" sport watch with a five-dollar donation is irresistible. Typical greedy American youth. So Stan dials in, using his mother's credit card number and makes their donation.

South Park Elementary is on stage rehearsing for the schools play. Kyle begins to sing a song about Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. Of course, no one has any idea what the heck he's singing about. Kyle explains that Mr. Hankey comes every year to all the good boys and girls who have a lot of fiber in their diet. Everyone thinks he's insane and he gets sent to a mental institute.

Eric is handing out invitations to his birthday party at school. Mr. Garrison informs them all that there is a new student joining the class. Announcing to all that he is Damien, the son of Satan. Even as Damien demonstrates his demonic powers the children are more loathsome than impressed.

Mr. Garrison deserts the class for a visit to Tom's Rhinoplasty. All the boys compete for the attention of their beautiful substitute teacher Ms. Ellen.

The boys meet up with Barbara Streisand who wants to take over the world with Kyle's discovery at an archaeological dig. Leonard Maltin, Sydney Potier, and Robert Smith come to the rescue to defeat Babs and her terrible destruction.

Cartman needs to find out who his father is but his mom is no help. Learning that his father could be one of the many people that his mom had "relations" with during an annual party called "The Drunken Barn Dance", he finds that there's more to his mother than he thought.

The show starts off with the build up from last season's cliffhanger revolving around Cartman's paternal origins. However, just as it seems they are about to get on with the second half of "Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut," they do a 180 degree turn-around and reveal that for April Fool's Day they will be showing Terrance & Phillip in "Not Without My Anus".

Dr. Mephisto is about to reveal who Eric Cartman's father really is! Glass shatters and gunshots ring out. A mysterious assailant apparently shot Mephisto while the lights were off. Much to Eric's chagrin, they rush Mephisto off to the hospital. Chef rushes out the door with Mephisto in hand. They must fight against time to learn Eric's background, who is his father? Where does he come from?

Ike's going to have a Briss and everyone is invited! Stan, Kenny, and Cartman find out what a Briss really is and try to warn Kyle that his parents are going to cut off Ike's wee wee. Kyle sends Ike away to protect him from his scissor wielding parents.

The Booktastic bus is in town and soon everyone finds out that Officer Barbrady can't read. He is whisked off to school with the boys so he can save his job. While he's there someone in South Park is having sex with the town's chickens and only Officer Barbrady with his new deputies Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman can stop them!

Kyle is injured and must go to see the school nurse and is terrified because of the stories he's heard. She looks fairly normal, except for the dead fetus sticking out of her head. Kyle's mother educates the boys on her "condition" and decides that everyone in South Park should be made aware. Meanwhile, the South Park Cows dodgeball team goes to the state, national and finally the international finals in China.

Mr. Garrison assigns the boys to learn about Vietnam from somebody they know. Stan's Uncle Jimbo and his friend Ned tell the boys their outrageous tale. Mr. Garrison doesn't believe the boy's report and gives them detention. They plot revenge against Stan's Uncle by submitting a phony video of the Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka to them.

While their school bus is dangling on the edge of a cliff, the boys remember some of their past adventures. Mrs. Crabtree catches a ride into town with a stranger and winds up doing a brief stint as a standup comedienne. Back in South Park, Mr. Mackey convinces the parents that their missing children must have run away. In the end it's all a dream within a dream.

Schools out for summer and with Mr. Hat missing, Mr. Garrison is over the edge. The state has a ban on the sale of fireworks, and it screws up the boy's plans for a 4th of July celebration. Mr. Garrison seeks psychiatric help from Dr. Katz while Jimbo and Ned go to Mexico, in an attempt to smuggle fireworks back to the children of America.

A film festival moves to South Park, only to have a devastating effect on the sewer system. Mr. Hankey calls upon Kyle for help. The movie people interpret Kyle's pleading as a pitch and they quickly turn his story into a film starring Tom Hanks and a monkey they call "Mr. Hankey." Kyle is outraged that the filmmakers aren't hearing his pleas. Soon Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls energizes everyone.

Cartman's mother plots to give the boys the chickenpox by sending them over to Kenny's for a sleepover. Both Stan and Cartman breakout, but Kyle remains immune. Kyle discovers "the parental conspiracy" and with the other boys hires a prostitute to give their parents herpes. Meanwhile, Kenny's mother and Kyle's mother reunite their husbands who were both childhood friends that drifted apart.

The kids go on a field trip to the planetarium. All of the children except Cartman are acting weird. As usual Stan and Kyle, with Kenny's sacrifice, try to get to bottom of the mystery. Meanwhile, Cartman wins an appearance on a snack commercial. The four boys get to the root of the strange planetarium.

Stan needs to build a clubhouse so he and Kyle can play "Truth or Dare" with Wendy and her friend, who has a crush on Kyle. Cartman and Kenny retaliate by building a clubhouse of their own; only theirs has hot chicks. Meanwhile, the Marshes marriage breaks up and Stan learns a valuable lesson about love and family.

South Park's annual "Cow Days" party is happening! The cows become transfixed on a cow statue. In order to get the money they need to win Terrance and Phillip dolls, the boys sign Cartman up for a bull riding contest. A freak accident has Cartman believing he is a Vietnamese prostitute named Ming Li. The boys learn about money and cow insanity.

Chef is getting sued by Capitalist Records for trying to obtain the rights to a song he wrote twenty years ago. He needs 2 million dollars to hire Johnny Cochran. In response the boys round up all of Chef's old musician friends and organize a huge concert to raise the cash.

Sharon Marsh's Aunt Flo makes her monthly visit and she has present for Stan, a fish. Stan's fish really freaks him out, especially when the dead bodies start piling up. Mrs. Marsh is convinced Stan is doing the killings and begins hiding the bodies. The boys discover there are two Cartmans and a gateway to a parallel universe at the "Indian Burial Ground Pet Store."

Kyle, Stan and Kenny accompany Eric and his family to a Christmas celebration with the Cartman family. One of Cartman's relatives breaks out of jail for the reunion, with his cellmate, Charles Manson.

Harbucks coffee plans to move into South Park and drive Tweek coffee shop out of business. Mr. Garrison assigns a report on current events to help him keep his job. The boys are planning on doing their report on the underpants gnomes. Tweek's father schemes to use the boy's report as a platform for fighting Harbucks. The report the boys deliver sparks the town into taking action.

Kyle falls into a cave. Stan goes to rescue him and finds an iceman, and the two fight each other for sole credit. Dr. Mephisto discovers that the iceman has been frozen since 1996. The iceman is put on display and the fighting Kyle and Stan free him. The iceman tries to return to his family, but finds himself a man out of time. Meanwhile, the government has their own plans to use the iceman in their plot against Sweden.

Mr. Mackey punishes the boys by forcing them to join the "Getting Gay With Kids" choir. The choir is going to Costa Rica to help save the rainforest. While on a tour of the rainforest the choir group gets lost when a snake kills their guide. They soon discover the evils of the rainforest, which changes the choir group's message.

Kenny spontaneously combusts. The mayor asks Randy Marsh to find a solution. The boys try to help Kyle's dad to get an erection. One way they think they can help is by performing the Stations of the Cross at church crucifying Cartman and waiting three days for his res-erection. Randy Marsh figures out the reason everyone is combusting is because they are withholding their farts.

Kyle and Stan try to rescue Chef from the clutches of the Succubus that he is going to marry. Meanwhile, Cartman deals with his eye problems and the optometrist he doesn't like. Chef's Mama and Papa appear for the first time.

The boys discover a live prehistoric Jakovasaur while camping on Stark's Pond. The government and the citizens of South Park are interested in trying to help keep this endangered species alive, until they all realize how annoying the Jakovasaurs really are. The only one who really enjoys them is Cartman. The boys try distracting him while the town tries to send the Jakovasaurs to France.

The boys take Shop class and try to set-up a fight between Tweek and Craig. Kenny is delighted in safely taking the Home Economics course. When the big fight arrives, the combatants don't know what to do; so Jimbo and Ned teach Tweek boxing and Cartman has Craig instructed in the art of Sumo. Shop teacher Mr. Adler has a recurring dream about a woman that he was never able to say goodbye to.

Sexual Harassment Panda visits Mr. Garrison's class. Cartman sues Stan for sexual harassment and Kyle's dad is getting rich. The boys go in search of "Sexual Harassment Panda" to stop the insanity. They find him at "The Island of Misfit Mascots Commune" and convince him to change his cause. He becomes Petey, the "don't sue people" Panda.

Shelly Marsh is babysitting Cartman. Shelly invites her boyfriend over and he in turn invites his band. Cartman has to prove that Shelly has violated the rules. Meanwhile, the Cartman's cat is in heat, searches for a good time and invites all the cats in the neighborhood back to the empty Cartman house for an orgy.

Stan's parents bring him to Mr. Mackey's party, but he gets sent down to the basement to be with the lame kids. Kyle and Stan's fathers experiment with their homosexual tendencies. The ATF is convinced that the meteor shower party is actually a gathering of a religious cult that is going to commit suicide when the meteor shower arrives. Stan tries to save himself and the party from the ATF.

Kyle invites Kenny to join him at Jewbilee, a Boy Scout-like gathering for Jewish kids. His parents are going to attend Mr. Mackey's party. At camp, Ike is sent to join the little group called "Squirts." Kyle and Kenny, join the scouts, where they concentrate on soap sculptures. This art is key to the Jewish elders celebration of Moses however, Moses identifies Kenny as not being Jewish and Kenny is banished from the camp.

Korn comes to South Park for a Halloween gig and learns of the boys problems with the 5th graders at South Park Elementary. Korn agrees to help the boys get revenge on the mean 5th graders all in a spooky Scooby Doo rip off!

The kids of South Park discover Chinpokomon, Japan's #1 cool toy to own! Wanting to avoid being losers, they persuade their parents to buy them the toys only to discover that the Chinpokomon are designed to brainwash them into bombing Pearl Harbor. The parents band together to stop Japan and save America!

Mrs. Cartman is about to give Eric a present. Of course Eric is hoping it will be some kind of toy, but it ends up being Hooked On Monkey Phonics to help him win the big South Park Annual Spelling Bee. Kyle finds Rebecca Cutswald to be quite intriguing and tries to woo her with his charm and teach her how to love and learn in public school.

Starvin' Marvin finds an alien ship and begins searching out a new home for his people. The government interrogates the boys to find out about Marvin and direct them to Sally Struthers. Marvin stops in South Park to pick up the boys and take them to the planet Marklar. The Marklarians are willing to let the Ethiopians relocate to their world and the Christian channel does all they can to stop them.

South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle and Stan that will make them his slaves for one month.

Mr. Hankey introduces 10 musical segments highlighting songs the on the CD "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics." The boys and all of the other South Park characters sing their own songs for the Holidays and realize that Christmas is all about the presents.

Cartman is convinced he is going through puberty since he started bleeding out of his ass. Dr. Mephisto gives Stan some hormones and he takes the entire bottle. Stan gets facial hair, boobs and his voice starts changing. People are waiting outside of Jesus' home to see what kind of miracle he offers which ends up involving a comeback performance of a very old Rod Stewart and eventually an appearance by God.

The children of South Park are practicing "My Country 'Tis of Thee" for the "4 Million Child Blow," sponsored by Yoko Ono. Mr. Garrison doesn't want to go because his father still lives there. At the concert Stan and Kyle try to figure out a way to "out cool" the kids from New York. Cartman tries to find "the brown noise" and is successful. Stan and Kyle plan against the kids from New York but their scheme goes much too far.

The tooth fairy has visited Cartman, leaving him two dollars. He rushes to the bus stop to share his news with the others. He then unveils his latest plan. If all they all combined their lost teeth, the tooth fairy will provide them with enough cash to purchase a Sega Dreamcast. They soon find out that they are treading on someone else's territory. Now they have to work with the mobsters to keep their manhood.

The kids have just won a sledding race. Token says that the only reason they won is because of Eric's fat ass. The girls challenge the boys to a sledding race down Phil Collins Hill. Token says that the boys can't lose thanks to Eric's fat ass. Eric then tosses a rock into the side of Token's head. The FBI claim that this was a hate crime and Cartman is sent to jail. Can the other boys bust Cartman out in time for the big race?

There's something wrong with new student Timmy. About the only thing Timmy can do is say his name. Ignorant of the fact that Timmy is "retarded", he is "diagnosed" with ADD, which relieves him of the responsibility to do any homework. Soon the rest of the class manages to get diagnosed with ADD, and all get prescribed Ritalin. Everyone is on Ritalin and just complacent enough to sit through a Phil Collins show.

The boys discover 8-year-old contorting quintuplets from Romania. Cartman decides to stage his own performance. The quintuplets and their grandmother defect from Romania and wind up staying at the Marsh's home. Thanks to Grandpa Marsh the girls' grandmother gets "loved to death." The girl's father is brought in by the Romanian government to demand his daughters back, Janet Reno to the rescue!

Cartman decides to seek the friendship of older men. Using the Internet, he makes a connection with men who love to hang out with little boys. An organization called NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association) holds a meeting in South Park and Cartman becomes their poster child. The boys learn how much an adult can really love a child.

Kyle needs a kidney transplant and Cartman is a perfect donor. Cartman has a $10 million price for his kidney. The other boys go to Cartman's house with the plan to take one of his kidneys. Cartman thwarts their plan. Stan, depressed about the inevitable loss of his friend decides to take action into his own hands and with the help of the parents gets Cartman's kidney for Kyle.

Chef is declaring that South Park's flag is racist. Stan & Kyle head up the team championing the current flag, while Wendy and Cartman head up the side for a new flag. Wendy ends up confessing to Bebe of her attraction to Cartman. The debate starts, but before Wendy can make her point, she kisses Cartman to regain her composure. Chef realizes that Stan & Kyle's point of view on the flag issue was colorblind.

"Fingerbang" is the latest boy band starring the four boys. Randy Marsh is against Stan's participation in any boy band for dark reasons. The boys land a gig at the local mall when it is threatened because there are only 4 members in the band. Stan arrives and the group is set to perform when suddenly the mall elevator tragically crushes Kenny. A former boy band member steps into the spotlight to save the gig.

The boys attend church and the priest puts the fear of hell in them. They must go to Sunday school and learn that they must confess their sins. The boys are worried about Timmy, after all, he can only say his name. Feeling the need to confess their sins they catch the priest in a compromising position and decide to save themselves.

Cartman preaches and the children begin plans to build a church. Satan spends the night with Saddam. Kenny wasn't killed in the previous episode, but the bus that ran him over stops in Mexico, where Kenny is found. Satan, in his time of crisis turns to God for advice. Cartman is discovered as a fraud and is sent to Mexico for punishment.

The kids have to face the 4th grade, and they're not too happy about it. Cartman cooks up a scheme to go back in time to return to the 3rd grade where things were fun and easy. Two geeks help them rig Timmy's wheelchair into a working time machine and send Timmy on the trip of his life!

Cartman has a new Trapper Keeper (that blows Kyle's out of the water) After he's done bragging, a stranger tells him that it will soon take over the world if they don't destroy it now. Cool 2001: A Space Odyssey and Akira parodies!

The boys are doing their version of the Helen Keller Story and plan to beat the kindergartners show. Timmy stars as Helen Keller and gets a new friend to play with! Fireworks, fountains, and outstanding musicals galore!

This is the story of Pip's origin. Pip gets a job at the Havesham Estate where he meets Estella. She only spurns his optimism with insults. When Pip is offered the opportunity to become a gentleman he goes to London only to discover that Miss Havesham plans to break his heart. Her plan is to use Pip's tears to power her Genesis device and will allow her to gain revenge on all men.

Mrs. Cartman holds an intervention for her son's eating problem and is sending him to fat camp. Cartman returns from camp, 40 lbs. lighter. Cartman is selling candy to the fat kids. Kenny is challenged by the other children to do crazy things for money. Kenny's popularity rises and he soon gets his own TV show. An event happens where Kenny gets inside Ms. Crabtree's uterus for six hours.

The "Raging Pussies" concert is on! Kyle calls the police and say his parents have been "molestering" him. Soon all the children are calling in on all the adults in South Park. Until only children live in South Park. Someone from out of town breaks down and they have the task of retrieving a book for the fat-ass. The locked-up adults of South Park get therapy to prevent them from sexually abusing their children.

Kyle and Ike anxiously await Mr. Hankey. When he doesn't show, Kyle calls the others for a late night emergency meeting. They find Mr. Hankey living with his alcoholic wife and their three little nuggets. He tells them that no one is into Christmas. They all decide to try and spread some Christmas cheer. Their effort fails and the boys decide to create an animated special of their own. Featuring Jesus, Santa Claus and themselves.

The you-know-what hits the fan 162 times when the citizens of South Park hear the word "Sh*t" on the popular show, "Cop Drama." Boffo ratings have the executives at HBC plotting further use of the curse word, as the nation is struck by a mysterious plague that unleashes the ancient Knights of Standards and Practices. Only Chef and the boys can save South Park, and the world!

Big Gay Al returns to South Park, only to be thrown out as Scoutmaster to the boys for being gay. The boys rally to his defense, with the help of the new "handi-capable" kid, Jimmy. But there's only room for one crippled kid in South Park, so Timmy and Jimmy throw off the gloves, as well as the crutches and wheelchair, in an all out slugfest to end all slugfests.

Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny discover David Blaine, magician and Cult Leader. Stan finds out early that the Blainiacs are not as nice as they thought. Stan has to convince Kyle, Kenny and Cartman that they've been brainwashed... but will he get to them in time? Jesus has a few tricks up his sleeve! Super Best Friends to the rescue!

Cartman goes medieval on Scott Tenorman's ass when ginger-haired Scott tricks our supple hero into buying his pubic hair for $16.12. Radiohead guest stars and plays a role in Cartman's elaborate scheme at getting sweet revenge on his unsuspecting foe.

In the grand tradition of Wham UK, flatulant Canadian superstars, Terrance and Phillip, have broken up over creative differences. The clock is ticking as the boys struggle to reunite the fartastic duo, and recruit them in time for South Park's Earth Day festivities.

Cartman inherits one million dollars from his grandmother, fulfilling his lifelong dream of owning his own amusement park, Cartmanland! A hemorrhoid erupts in Kyle's ass when he learns of Cartman's undeserved fortune, making him question the very existence of God, and whether there's a reason to stay alive in a world where someone like Cartman is happy.

Thanks to Stan's "handy" work, the children of South Park must endure sex education from the unlikely duo of Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik. While the two adults take their lessons to heart, the children are left frightened, mis-informed, and armed for battle against the opposite sex. Much hilarity ensues.

The boys get a new video game system and their plans for the next 38 hours is to play it! Untill they discover Towelie, a government secret, genetically engineered towel that gets his special powers from gettin' high. When the government steals Stan's new Game Sphere the boys will stop at nothing to get it back. Losing precious gaming time they find Towelie and begin the struggle of the century.

In the wake of the terrorist attack on the United States, the boys find themselves accidentally sent to Afghanistan, where they encounter their Afghani counterparts and try to understand why they hate Americans. While they are there they also take on the Taliban and Cartman pits his fat ass against Bin Laden himself.

Cartman has finally gone too far when a prank involving Kenny's sweet cheeks results in him blowing a "funny fuse." After a photo of Kenny's better side finds it's way onto the side of a milk carton, an unusual couple arrives in South Park to claim their missing child. Much ass kissing ensues.

Kyle’s cousin comes to town and after Kyle sees how stereotypically Jewish his cousin Kyle is, he worries about how Cartman is going to react when he meets him. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison invents an alternative form of transportation that requires the rider to use more than just their hands and legs to control it.

Feeling like an outcast for being the only rich kid in town, Token succeeds in attracting several other wealthy people to South Park. Meanwhile, the townspeople, fearing that their little hamlet is rapidly going up the drain, attempt to run the new residents out of town by any means necessary.

In a very special episode of South Park, Cartman fights for Kenny's life when he speaks before Congress in favor of stem cell research. Meanwhile, Stan has trouble dealing with his friend's impending demise.

Butters finds out what his father has been up to late at night and when his mother hears, she overreacts by trying to kill her son and then herself back at home. After returning home and forgiving her husband, she realizes what she has done to her son and they spin a story to the media to cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Butters obsesses with returning home so that he can join his parents for an anniversary dinner at Bennigan’s.

The boys decide to fatten up Butters so that he can lose weight by eating at their favorite restaurant just like Jared, the sub sandwich guy. Jared, who is making an appearance in town reveals another secret to his weight loss, he has aides.

With their parents stuck in Time Share Hell, our boys are on their own on the slopes of Aspen, circa 1985. Stan gets challenged to a ski race and must win in order to save the youth center, get the girl, and free the trapped spirits of the Wakacha Vampire Indians. Not that he really cares.

The boys learn that disfigured people get prizes for appearing on a talk show and they sign Butters up. When the prize he gets can’t be shared, Cartman has his mother join him on a segment called, "Please Help My out of Control Child."

The boys learn where veal comes from and they decide to save the calves by hiding them in Stan’s room, where they all intend to stay until the calves are guaranteed their safety. During the siege Stan develops symptoms of an illness caused by his new vegan diet.

The boys have to sit through "The Russell Crowe Show" in order to see the premiere of the trailer for the new Terrance and Phillip movie. Meanwhile, Chef’s new TV has taken on a life of its own.

Butters isn’t working out and Cartman, Kyle and Stan decide to fire him and hold auditions for his replacement. Becoming an outcast, Butters becomes a super-villain with plans to cause chaos wherever he goes.

Professor Chaos returns with brand new, super evil, schemes to wreak havoc on South Park; unfortunately, the Simpsons have already done them all. Meanwhile, a super secret ingredient helps Cartman's "Sea People" evolve at an alarming rate.

Father Maxi is concerned with all the molestation claims that have been placed against the Catholic Church recently. After most of his parishioners turn to Atheism as an answer, he travels to the Vatican to get some answers.

The boys go out to see the new edition of Star Wars: Episode V and during the previews they find out that the movie studios are planning on re-releasing more movies with digitally enhanced effects. In an effort to stop this injustice, they go off to find Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.

After nearly five years and 89 episodes, it finally happens: Cartman gets kicked out of the gang. The reason? Bebe gets boobs and the boys go ape, threatening their friendships and society as we know it.

In an effort to protect their children from kidnappers, the parents of South Park hire the owner and operator of the local City Wok to build a Great Wall around the city. When crazy things like Kid trackers and Mongolions come into the picture. The parents learn a very important lesson themselves about trusting strangers.

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman win all the candy they can eat in a contest. There's just one problem, Kenny had the ticket. Now to get their prize, the boys have decided to build a ladder to Heaven in order to get the ticket back from their dead friend.

The boys are on a mission: return "The Lord of the Rings" to the Two Towers Video Store in Conifer. But this is no ordinary copy. Butters, the evil sixth graders, and the boys' parents all try to steal the ring, er tape, from the boys. Will they succeed?

A loveable new character, Mr Slave, makes his debut as Mr. Garrison desperately tries to get fired from his new job as the boys' 4th grade teacher. Meanwhile, the boys get sent to the Deathcamp of Intolerance for not tolerating Mr. Garrison's intolerable behavior.

When a famous psychic fails to help him exorcise Kenny from his body, Cartman takes other steps to achieve his goal. He and Chef travel to the moors of Scotland, where Chef's mom tries a little of her voodoo magic on him. Meanwhile, after the boys encounter with the TV psychic, Kyle is paralyzed with fear at the thought of members of the spirit world watching over him. Only by debunking those who claim they can communicate with the dead can Stan save Kyle.

When a 32 year old man claiming to be Stan from the future shows up in South Park, young Stan is forced to come to terms with the loser he will become. Meanwhile, South Park's own little entrepreneur, Eric Cartman is at the helm a new money making venture. Cartman is in the business of revenge.

In an effort to redeem himself days before Christmas, Cartman decides to bring Christmas to the Iraqis. So, along with Stan, Kyle, and Kenny they catch a ride with Mr. Hankey to the North Pole to bring Christmas to Iraq.

The boys are at the bus stop and they seem to be reliving events that they went through 6 seasons earlier; that is Kyle "kicking the baby" his little brother Ike and Cartman talking about his strange dream, which the other boys identify as visitors. What's going on in South Park? Did the boys travel back in time, or is some sinister force at work?

Jimmy is tired of the entire town talking about how great that "butthole" Christopher Reeve is. Jimmy and Timmy decide the only real "crips" are those who were crippled from birth. They then decide to seek out a gang with similar feelings. It's safe to say Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are staying out of this one.

The boys are given a detention due to their attitudes in art class. Cartman decides that they need to toilet paper (TP) the art teacher's house in revenge.

After participating in a walk-out against the war in Iraq, Mr. Garrison tells the boys they have to write a report on the founding fathers. Cartman decides he's going to figure out a way to flashback to the past and learn all about history first hand.

For a report on Cultural Diversity, Cartman chooses to do one on Latinos in the arts with the help of a Jennifer Lopez hand puppet. Later, at the mall, the puppet insists they make a music video, which launches the hand puppet's musical career. There's just one problem, the REAL J-Lo shows up to protest the hand's authenticity.

The boys are playing "junior detectives," and have to find a kidnapped doll. After a daring rescue, they are taken back to Park County Police Headquarters. Upon their arrival, the Chief makes them "real" junior detectives and gives them their first assignment: breaking up a meth lab. The boys soon learn being real detectives isn't as fun as they thought.

The owners of the Three Feathers Indian Casino have decided to buy out the town of South Park in order to create a super-highway from Denver to their Casino. The townfolk only have one night to make $350,000. So they head to the casino...

The metrosexual fad has hit South Park thanks to the "Queer Eye Guys," and all the men in town are affected, except for Kyle and his Dad. Stan, Kenny, and Cartman give Kyle a makeover, and Gerald isn't far behind. Soon the women of South Park grow tired of the fad, as does Mr. Garrison.

The boys have hit a crossroads with their band "Moop." Cartman wants the band to play Christian Rock, and leaves the band when Stan, Kyle, and Kenny don't agree. Before leaving, Cartman bets Kyle $10 that he will get a platinum album with a Christian Rock band before "Moop" can.

Due to a rise in deaths due to senior citizens behind the wheel, the State of Colorado has revoked all the driver licenses of senior citizens. Soon after, the AARP shows up to fight for the rights of their comrades.

Kyle is going to Casa Bonita for his birthday, but he can only bring three friends. He chooses Stan, Kenny, and Butters. Cartman, outraged by not being chosen, comes up with a plan to take Butters out of the picture.

A new student, Gary Harrison, joins the 4th grade. Gary is a Mormon from Utah. The children decide he needs to get his ass kicked, and they choose Stan to do it. After an awkward exchange of words, Stan is invited to Gary's house, where he learns all about Mormons.

After seeing an auditorium presentation on the dangers of smoking (and in some ways, not smoking), the boys light up behind the school and are soon caught in the middle of Rob Reiner's Anti-Tobacco campaign.

In an effort to find some closure in breaking up with Wendy, the boys take Stan to Raisins (a junior Hooters) so he can forget about her. Meanwhile, a trip to Raisins does big things for Butters, as he falls in love with a waitress.

When Ike is claimed by his Canadian birth parents, the boys set out to gain an audience with the Canadian Prime Minister. Meanwhile, Cartman's biggest concern is that the boys don't spend all of Christmas in Canada.

South Park takes on the look of Japanese Anime. The boys are transformed into Japanese Warriors after they buy martial arts weapons at a local flea market. Their sworn enemy, Professor Chaos, confronts them and a highly stylized battle ensues.

Jimmy is in training for an upcoming sporting event and he’s determined to win at any cost. Cartman feels he can easily take first place against Jimmy. He just has to convince the qualifying committee he’s handicapped.

Kyle finally sees “The Passion” and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along. Meanwhile many of the film’s hardcore fans band together under Cartman’s leadership to carry out it’s message.

It’s up to Stan to put a team of South Park’s best dancers together to compete against a rival troupe from Orange County. While Butters has won awards for his dancing, he refuses to help Stan out, as he hasn’t been able to dance since the tragic death of eight audience members at his last competition.

Cartman dresses up like a robot, calls himself AWESOM-O, and moves in with Butters. His plan is to learn all of Butter’s innermost secrets and then use them against him. While Butters is thrilled to have found a new best friend, the Army believes AWESOM-O is some new secret weapon, and Hollywood is after the phony robot to develop their next big blockbuster.

All the children of South Park are attracted to Mr. Jefferson, his son and their home filled with games, toys and animals. Cartman goes out of his way to get Mr. Jefferson to love him while the local police force resent him for being black and wealthy and decide bring him down.

Humans from the year 4035 are arriving in droves in South Park! Everything gets a little too crowded when people from the future arrive through a recently discovered time portal. When the boys try to earn some extra money, the time immigrants, who are willing to do the same work for next to nothing, take their jobs.

When PETA demonstrates against the use of a cow as South Park Elementary’s mascot, the student body is forced to choose a new one. As the election approaches, Kyle tries to convince everyone that his candidate, a giant douche, is better than Cartman’s nominee, a turd sandwich.

The streets of South Park are like a ghost-town when a giant Wall-Mart lures all the townspeople to the new store with its incredible bargains. Cartman becomes a boy possessed by the power of Wall-Mart and its low, low prices. In order to save their town, Stan and Kyle have to find a way to destroy the ever-expanding superstore while keeping Cartman from stabbing them in the back.

For five long years, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Butters have kept a secret about a horrible incident that happened back in pre-school. Now, the kid who took the fall for the group, Trent Boyett, is getting out of juvie and his first order of business is revenge.

The boys of South Park produce their own morning news show on the school’s closed-circuit television station and are immediately caught up in the intense competition for ratings.

All the fourth grade girls idolize a rich, famous and spoiled socialite. They even have her brand new toy set that comes complete with video camera, night vision filter, play money and losable cell phone. In an effort to impress their idol, the girls pursue the boys to make their own videos.

After sustaining a severe head injury, Cartman appears to have the power to see into the future. South Park detectives are quick to enlist his help in cracking unsolved murder cases and Cartman is more than willing to help, for a price. In the meantime, a group of licensed psychics cry foul when Cartman refuses to join their ranks.

Stan is approached by the forest critters and asked to help them build a manger in anticipation of the birth of their Lord and Savior. Stan complies, only to find out that they serve a very different Lord.

Mr. Garrison goes to great lengths to get what he’s always wanted…a sex change. As he enjoys his new womanly attributes, the rest of the town gets in touch with their inner feelings too. Meanwhile, Kyle wrestles with the fact that Jews just aren’t good at basketball.

Cartman seeks to rid the world of hippies once and for all.

As talent agents, Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny can bank 10% of their client’s earnings. After they pool all their resources to impress their one and only client, another agency steals him away. Desperate to earn their money back, they take on another client with plans to launch her on a new reality show.

Kenny is the only one of his friends to get the newest, coolest portable gaming device and Cartman can’t deal with it. Will they remain best friends forever?

If the boys can lose just one baseball game, it gets them out of playing the boring sport for the entire summer.

Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead. Although his parents have made it clear to him there are no such things as ghosts, Butters is sure one is haunting him. Butters knows he has to give up his ghost pal or be put into a mental institution.

All the kids are getting ready for the big South Park Elementary Talent Show and Jimmy can’t wait to perform his new comedy routines. But lately, just like generations of little boys before him, Jimmy’s noticed that one of his body parts has a mind of its own. Knowing he can’t get up in front of the entire school in an excited state, Jimmy must find a way to gain control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the show.

A global warming state of emergency is declared in South Park. The world’s largest beaver dam breaks and floods the adjacent town of Beaverton. As the victims wait for help to arrive, everyone in South Park tackles priority number one: who is to blame? Only Stan and Cartman know who’s really at fault.

The 4th grade girls are having a sleepover. It’s imperative that the boys find out what goes on behind those closed doors. Butters is picked to be the boy who must fake his death, become a girl and infiltrate this age-old feminine tradition.

Mrs. Garrison realizes he still has feelings for Mr. Slave. But, Mr. Slave has moved on. He plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill. Mrs. Garrison leads the charge against gay marriage.

Cartman suffers from a mysterious and sudden on-set of the disease, Gingervitus. Sick and tired of being ripped-on because he now has red hair, light skin and freckles, he rallies all ginger kids everywhere to fight against discrimination.

Religious leaders recognize Stan as the second coming and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help of a famous R&B singer. The results of Stan’s personality test reveal that he’s depressed. While Stan looks to a new religion for answers, the church leaders recognize Stan as the second coming. Some A-List Hollywood celebrities join the faithful who have set up camp right in front of Stan’s house.

A “talking” whale inspires the fourth-graders to risk everything to return him to his family. With the police on their tails, the boys enlist the help of a foreign government and embark upon an adventure you’ll not soon forget. One in which the boys learn just how far you would go for a friend.

Stan is embarrassed in front of his friends when his dad gets pulled over for drunk driving. In a neighboring town, a bleeding statue of Mary is discovered and the faithful are flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Stan’s dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his disease.

The town is excited when Chef returns to town after world traveling with the “Super Adventure Club,” but the boys notice something is different about Chef. It seems that Chef’s new sense of adventure has gotten the better of him and the boys try to save him.

Stan is the driving force who gets the citizens of South Park to all buy hybrid cars. Just as everyone starts to feel really good about what they’re doing to help save the earth, a stormy dark mass has started accumulating over the town.

Cartman and Kyle are at war over the popular cartoon, Family Guy. Kyle loves it and Cartman hates it. When the show airs some controversial content the boys go on a cross country chase with the fate of Family Guy lying with the first boy to reach Hollywood.

With Kyle left behind, Cartman makes his way to FOX to get the Family Guy episode pulled, hoping to ultimately get rid of the show once and for all.

Towelie writes a book and it gets selected for Oprah’s book club. It becomes a best seller with everyone getting a lot help for their addictions; until a faction of Oprah's staff leak the truth about the book.

While assisting an ex-Vice President in his quest for attention, the boys get trapped by a cave-in and while searching for a way out, Cartman discovers treasure. Now he has to figure out how to get out of the cave without the others knowing about it and he can keep it all for himself.

When Cartman's mom realizes she can't control her son anymore, she gets help from an expert. Cesar Millan, “The Dog Whisperer" takes on the challenge and while he might have what it takes, Eric Cartman's not going down without a fight.

A renegade player threatens the Massively Multiplayer Online game World of Warcraft and the fate of the game lay in the hands of Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny.

Cartman reveals who masterminded the attacks of 9/11, while Kyle and Stan search for the real truth; meanwhile Mr. Mackey just wants to know who dropped the deuce in the urinal.

Cartman, South Park Elementary’s new hallway monitor, takes it personally when he finds out that a teacher has been kissing a student in his jurisdiction. He helps Kyle stop his little brother’s affair with his “Nice” hot teacher.

Satan is throwing the world's biggest Halloween costume party, and no one is getting in without a blue wrist band. Unfortunately, even Satan can't plan for everything as a religious organization and the antics of the most notorious serial killers of all time might ruin his good time.

The topic of evolution is introduced to the 4th graders of South Park Elementary and while their teacher is against the theory a change of mind has implications for the future. And speaking of the future, Cartman is trying to send himself there; to the exact date that the newest video game console, the Nintendo Wii is being released.

Last week, in an attempt to make his wait for the Wii instantaneous, Cartman froze himself. Through a bizarre twist of fate, he woke up 500 years in the future, where there are warring factions, some angry sea otters, and worst of all: No Nintendo Wii! Will Cartman get out of this crazy future? Or will he be doomed to never get his hands on the Wii?

Stan becomes coach of a Pee Wee Hockey team and for the benefit of one his players he tries to make them into a team of winners. Meanwhile his father deals with the memory of Stan’s performance in a Pee Wee hockey game from years earlier, when Stan had the opportunity to score the game winning goal.

Randy uses the "N" word on live TV and faces public ridicule for it and Stan tries to understand Token's feelings on the subject. Meanwhile, a little person visits South Park Elementary and Cartman can't stop himself from laughing at him.

Butters' dad sends him off to special camp to "Pray the Gay Away" when he believes that his son is bi-curious after catching him in a compromising position with Cartman. Meanwhile, Cartman does his best to retrieve a photo of him in that compromising position before too many people find out about it.

When a breakout of headlice hits South Park Elementary, Mrs. Garrison refuses to say which child brought the plague to the school. So, Cartman takes it upon himself to find out who it is so the kids can make fun of them. Meanwhile, a louse Travis, is desperate to save his fellow lice from imminent destruction from a conscious world.

The citizens of South Park are gearing up for the arrival of Hillary Clinton for a big campaign rally. Meanwhile, Cartman suspects that a new Muslim student is involved in a possible terrorist attack. Every minute counts for Cartman as he uses his own interrogation methods on his suspect. But could the plan to target Clinton be just the tip of the iceberg?

Stan wants to know the real reason kids have to decorate eggs for Easter, and what, if anything eggs and bunnies have to do with Jesus dying for his sins. To get to the bottom of it, Kyle and Stan get wrapped up in a bizarre society that guards a legendary secret.

Once again Ms. Garrison gets dumped, but this time she decides to take it out on her fourth grade class. When the boys have finally had enough of their teacher's erratic mood swings and excessive homework assignments, they find out that there are people-for-hire that can help out in any situation. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison is finding life without men has its upsides.

The number of homeless people in South Park is increasing as they eat, sleep, and beg for change across the town. While the adults try to find creative solutions to deal with the homeless, the boys are trying to figure out a way to solve the problem for good

Upon discovering Tourette's syndrome, Cartman becomes mad with power. He finds out he has the ability to say whatever he wants without consequence, so he sets up National TV Coverage to take full advantage of his new found life.

Stan's dad becomes South Park's home-town hero when the guys down at the local bar see the size of his most recent crap. Randy contacts a society that keeps track of the world record, thinking his masterpiece would definitely be a contender.

When the entire contents of the world's imagination lay open before them, Stan and Kyle step right in. Back in South Park, Cartman swears he's seen a leprechaun.

Stan and Kyle are being held captive at the Pentagon until they tell the government exactly how they got into Imaginationland. Elsewhere, Cartman will not give up his quest to make Kyle follow through on their bet to suck his balls.

Inside Imaginationland, Stan and Butters engage in the battle of their lives as they fight the army of evil imaginary forces. Meanwhile, Cartman goes all the way to the Supreme Court to get Kyle to suck his balls.

Stan and Kyle become obsessed with Guitar Hero to the point where they're breaking high score records. It doesn't take long for Stan to realize that he could go even further with a different partner. Will the stress of being a rock star get to Stan now that his best friend is no longer by his side?

The girls in the fourth grade class have made a secret list that rates every boy's looks from cutest to ugliest. When the boys steal the list, they are completely unprepared to deal with the results.

After going in for a routine tonsillectomy, a botched transfusion leaves Cartman afflicted with an incurable disease. When he finds no comfort in his friends and family, how far will he go to find a cure?

While trying to escape her troubles in the secluded mountains near South Park, Britney Spears has a run-in with the boys. Stan and Kyle get swept up in her celebrity as well as the non-stop feeding frenzy that plagues her wherever she goes. The boys must take Britney to the North Pole when they learn the secret behind what makes her so popular.

In a South Park homage to the 1981 film, “Heavy Metal”, the boys are trying to get Kenny off the latest drug craze that’s captured the junior high and under set.

The head of the World Canadian Bureau leads the country into a long and painful strike and the responsibility of brokering a settlement rests with the boys.

While Ms. Garrison is off trying to find a way to become the man he was always intended to be, Cartman is put in charge of the classroom.

The citizens of South Park wake up one morning shocked to find the Internet is gone. Upon hearing news that the Internet may remain in California, Randy decides to head out west with the family.

While the kids are on an educational field trip to a living museum, Cartman makes Butters sneak away from the class to go to the amusement center located next door.

After watching the intimidating opening ceremonies of the recent Olympic games, Cartman understands that the Chinese are only just days away from invading his homeland. While the rest of the American people are haunted by the memory of a recent tragic event, only Butters will stand with Cartman as he confronts the Chinese.

Wendy gets in trouble when she threatens to beat up Cartman after school. No matter how fired up Wendy is, all bets are on Cartman. Everybody knows a girl can't fight a boy and win.

The boys find a way to make money off an international crisis that requires no talent and very little effort. Cartman convinces the other boys to invite Craig to get in on their latest plan. He knows Craig has just what it takes to make their dream a reality.

Giant guinea pigs are attacking cities all over the world. The boys have the key that will save everyone from the onslaught but they're stranded in the Andes Mountains.

While the country celebrates the outcome of the election, the new President-elect catches everyone off guard when he arrives at the White House prematurely.

Stan realizes he could lose Wendy if he doesn't get on board with the latest fad to hit South Park Elementary. Cartman would rather kill himself than succumb. But, when Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman all realize that Butters is now more popular than they are, they have no choice but to give in to peer pressure.

Butters is sure he’s seen a vampire at school but he can’t get anyone to listen to him. Meanwhile, the Goth Kids are angry and frustrated when the other kids can’t tell the difference between a Goth and a Vampire.

Thinking it's his way into her heart and other body parts, Kenny takes his new girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers concert. His dream of taking their relationship to the next level is crushed when the Jonas Brothers give them purity rings.