Marcus hopes that the Roman festival of Saturnalia will provide the perfect backdrop for him to finally woo Cynthia, while Grumio makes it his mission to salvage as much sacrificial meat from the city-wide celebrations as possible.

Everyone is quickly charmed apart from Marcus who hopes that, one way or another, their relationship will be short-lived. Meanwhile, Stylax plays a prank on Aurelius which gets out of hand.

To endear himself to Cynthia, Marcus befriends a mangy cat whom he's rescued from the courtyard. Stylax is suffering from a disturbing itch and visits a sexual health clinic where he falls for an attractive nurse.

Stylax buys Grumio an erotic vase for his birthday featuring a character who bears a striking resemblance to someone nearby. Marcus, under pressure from the girls, suggests they swap roles for the day. Meanwhile, Stylax hangs out with his cousin Lucretia, with whom he has an unusually close relationship.

Mass immigration from Thrace puts the boys into contact with a sexy Thracian lodger Irina and a dazzling yellow exotic fruit, the Banana. Meanwhile, Marcus has an unfortunate encounter with an elderly war veteran.

Things take an upward turn for the boys when Marcus meets some fit Britons in the courtyard and Stylax finds a flyer to a party. With his grocery budget now spent on party tickets, Grumio must scrimp and save in order to put food on the table.